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September 14, 2012
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What am I ranting on?  It's on humanity.  Not on humans themselves...No, it's about my humanity.  I fucking hate it.  It irritates the shit out of me.  I just feel like I wasn't made for a human body.  The question begs, what body was I made for?  If it wasn't obvious, I believe I was made to be an Espeon...But, I know that's impossible for me to become, because there's no method of real transformation yet.  I feel like the true me is locked up inside of the bits of memory and 0s and 1s of a computer...Now, if you know me, when I'm in that "Espeon Mode" I'm a very happy guy, but once I'm in "Human Mode" I'm irritable.  I just want to become an Espeon.  It's as simple as that.  But, I know it can't happen.  So, what can I do about it?  I'll tell you what I can do about it.  Once I graduate college, I'm going to start researching how to transform somebody, and I'll be using virtual models of DNA to find out what kind of sequence I'd need to become an Espeon.  Once I'm done with that, I'll transform myself.  Then, I'll finally be who I want to be.  Then, I'll be at peace...
  • Listening to: Varius Rival battle themes
  • Reading: This
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Nothing
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:iconhardhatshetland:
HardHatShetland Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I hate to bring this journal back to your attention, I really do, but... well, from what I see, it's obviously a complete embarassment; after all, I learnt about it from people referencing it in another one of your submissions. Why haven't you purged it from the records yet?
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:iconespeon196tf:
Espeon196TF Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
As proof that it takes more than a few people from Tumblr, 4chan, and FunnyJunk to strike me down.
Reply
:iconhardhatshetland:
HardHatShetland Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If you insist. You're a nice guy, and you're reasonable, but even so, would you mind if I gave you a friendly piece of advice?
Reply
:iconespeon196tf:
Espeon196TF Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Eh, why the hell not?
Reply
:iconhardhatshetland:
HardHatShetland Apr 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
In short, if you say stuff like this on the internet or in real life, people who don't know you, arsehole or not, are liable to think of you as an absolute nutter, and nobody wants that. Nobody. When you first posted this, you couldn't have not seen the shitstorm that happened down there coming.
Reply
:iconmattpoppybros:
PROBLEMS:

It's impossible to actually ever be an "espeon". Fist off, there is no such thing as psychic powers. Therefor, even if the technology to change your DNA (which, actually, would NOT change your physical characteristics) existed, you could not have psychic powers. Additionally, as Monsanto, a GM crops company, can patent plants, which are livig beings, Nintendo could patent pokemon as species, making it copyright infringement to perform the procedure to become one. Additionally, Espeon was not designed to be a real creature, so as you might have noticed, it has no mouth, nor any way of disposing of waste if it was even able to eat. Basically, you'd either starve or die of ruptured intestines.

So, you cannot be an ACTUAL espeon, you can only be something that looks like one.

Additionally, there are the lifestyle changes.

Pokemon, as far as the games show, eat pretty much only berries and things made of berries. Therefor, they are probably incapable of digesting meat, and you'd have to be a vegetarian. Pokemon get stronger only by defeating their enemies, which completely goes against your idea of being mellow and happy as an espeon. Additionally, they only evolve during the day when happy, or with rocks that do not exist. You'd have to be happy during the day, but you say that in "human mode" you're irritable. You'd have to start being happy around other people- which is what you do during the day- to become an Espeon anyway. And, once you're happy around other people, why would you want to stop being one and become an unintelligent animal?

Oh yeah, your brain literally could not exist in any form as an Espeon. It's too big and requires too many nutrients for a small herbivore to be able to eat. So, you wouldn't even be the same person if you became the person you think you are. I'm really sorry to tell you that.

This is the second generation pokemon format, or, in other words, all the information pokemon "dna" contains:

[link]

That's right. The person who owns you would be a mandatory part of your "dna". Wild pokemon aren't even really alive. They can't even reproduce. To even have a semblance of existence as an Espeon, you'd have to be a slave...

Or a work animal, really. Since you couldn't have a brain on the level of a human, you wouldn't be a person. Dolphins would be more human than you.

You don't want to be an Espeon. No one does. Being an Espeon would be worse than death.
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:icontamashixiii:
I don't want to live on this planet anymore.
Reply
:iconespeon196tf:
Espeon196TF Sep 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If you don't live on this planet, what planet will you live on? :3
Reply
:iconskarow:
Skarow Sep 28, 2012  Student Artist
MARS! :D
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:iconespeon196tf:
Espeon196TF Sep 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
x3
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